If you’ve been following me for any period of time, you’ll know that over a year ago, we needed to move my dad into a home for dementia patients. It was a very hard decision, but, fortunately, the right one. He is happy there. He thrives in the routine and quiet. And, my Mom can visit with him daily, without being his primary caretaker.
A few days ago, when I went to see him, he was vacant. I couldn’t get a response from him… no hint of recognition… and he seemed deep in his own world. I came home and wrote a blog… one I intended to share today. It made me cry… you would have cried when you read it, too. But, yesterday, when we went to visit him for his birthday, it was a wonderful visit. Michelle’s children were able to snuggle with him, and there was pure joy on his face. It was a wonderful day.
I know that there will be more and more days when we won’t be able to make my dad smile. I know it will continue to get harder and harder to get through to him, but yesterday WASN’T one of those days. Yesterday, if even for a minute, we had a part of “Papa” with us, so no tears today.
EDIT: Just for me… Just for the record… these are photos I took of Dad 2 days ago. A very mysterious disease, indeed…
Thanks so much for the lovely post about your beloved Dad. I am a new blogger and have not yet found my way around approaching the subjects that are tender and hit closer to home, so I’m grateful that you are able to share this with us.
My Mum has a form of dementia as well and it’s a whole new world for all of us and sometimes a really challenging one.
Warm regards and best wishes to you and your Dad on his birthday,
Pamela
Awwwwwww
I so feel for you.
I’m sending you love and strength. And peace.
You were smart to take pictures of your dad’s hands. They will be a special memory. I remember my Dad’s hands…His fingers were fat as sausages but soft to hold…But, I forgot to take pictures.
Hi Kimara,
Thank you for your blog post.
I too am going through a very hard and emotional time with my Mum. We had to put her into full time care and yesterday when I took my son for a vist (he lives interstate and can only visit occassionally) she did not recognise him and he was very emotional as he is very close to his Nan.
We know she is in there somewhere and like you we have good days and bad. You have inspired me to take more photos on each visit just to have these memories always.
(((HUGS))) Roz.
Thank you so much for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes as my grandmother has recently been diagnosed with dementia. We recognised the signs before she was diagnosed, and although she is still at the beginning stages, we have definitely noticed her good and bad days. Unfortunately, we’re not looking forward to what the future holds for her.
your post made me remember that we have to focus on the good days rather than the bad, we have Huntingdons disease in our family (a horrid genetic condition) my grandad had it, my uncle died a few years ago from it, my cousin who is only 50 is now nearing the end with it and Mum has early signs… I have spent a lot of time dwelling, should I get tested or not? there is a 50/50 chance I have the gene and if I have the gene I will develop HD… maybe a need to focus less on the what if and more on the here and now, at the moment I’m happy and healthy and loving spending time with my children, I need to focus on that, what good would knowing do? there is no treatment or cure… thanks for nudging me back towards the positive! lifes too short to dwell! xx
It is scary, but on the other hand, my father is still here. He retired at 52 on a medical. During that time we've lost many friends, but my father continues on. Although it is good to prepare for the future, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow… to any of us. So, carpe diem… seize the day. And, medicine is making remarkable discoveries everyday. Who knows which diseases will be eradicated in the future 🙂 Peace and love, Emma.
((hugs))
Kimara